Delta Phi Epsilon Founder’s Day: Thoughts on my Greek Life Experience (11 years later)
Please note: Brief mention of suicide & self-harm.
DPhiE
March 17th isn’t just St. Patrick’s Day in my world. It’s my mom’s best friend’s birthday, it’s a week before my birthday, and it is also the Founder’s Day of my sorority, Delta Phi Epsilon.
Delta Phi Epsilon was founded on March 17, 1917 at the New York University School of Law by five Jewish women who couldn’t find an inclusive organization that would accept them as members. DPhiE was founded specifically with the purpose of accepting all races and religions and was one of the first sororities to do so. So, badass vibes from the start. Justice, sisterhood, & love.
When I joined DPhiE at Robert Morris University, the chapter wasn’t on campus. It had been in the 90s, but had to go through the entire process with the university’s Greek Life and sorority’s International Headquarters to be rechartered. One of my best friend’s from high school was a DPhiE at another university and encouraged me to join.
This was 2012 and my sophomore year in college. This was one of the most difficult periods of my life. I was struggling big time with depression and anxiety for the first time and was struggling both with self-harm and suicidal thoughts.
Because the chapter had to go through chartering, there was a lot more work than just being a new member of a chapter. That was a blessing in disguise for me. It forced me to get out of my apartment and do something more than staring at a wall, which was what I was spending a lot of my free time doing. DPhiE came into my life at exactly the right time. There were a handful of things that kept me going and getting through that year - DPhiE was definitely one of them. DPhiE helped me live.
It was an unique experience because we were all thrown into a lot at once - and I think we were better for it. Better as individuals, better as sisters, better as a chapter.
One of the biggest criticisms of Greek life that I see is that “you pay for your friends.” If we’re being really cynical, there’s no such thing as a free lunch, and every relationship is transactional in one way or another. I paid dues for other, non-Greek organizations but those didn’t (don’t) get the same shade.
Greek life is small at RMU and that makes it a bit different, but frankly I see that as a strength. I enjoyed being part of RMU’s Greek Life community. Later, I was inducted into the Order of Omega and was its president during my senior year, so that was cool too. Even today, I am proud to see RMU’s Greek Life post on social media about the men & women who made Dean’s List. The stereotype about Greeks not caring about grades does not hold weight in my opinion.
Joining DPhiE did do for me is bring people in my life I would’ve never met otherwise. I’m talking about some of the best friends I have. And not just others Deephers or sorority women and fraternity men. But as well, I’ve met DPhiEs from other universities or joined my chapter at RMU after I graduated and became friends. Joining DPhiE definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone at times, but I needed that. I think it was crucial to both my personal and professional development. There was never a time where I second-guessed joining DPhiE.
In Wicked, Glinda tells Elphaba, “you can do anything,” and she replies, “I know.” Those are kind of the vibes I associate with my DPhiE experience - supporting one another and building up our own confidence. And I love continuing to see my sisters thrive in their lives, careers, and with their families.
No, I’m not as close with many of my sisters as I wish I was a decade later. It’s been hard sometimes when I’ve realized I didn’t fit in their life anymore or just dropped. And that hurts. Sometimes, though, life just happens and it can be hard to reconnect. Adult friendships can be hard, and I think we tell ourselves, at first, that it’ll be different with your sisters because of that bond. And life just gets in the way sometimes. I might not be as close, but I’d love to see any of them and just give them a hug.
There’s been other times where I’ve reconnected with a sister out of the blue, and it's like we’re back bullshitting on campus. No time has passed at all. Sisters who live states away, but the distance doesn’t matter. Or some things really never did change.
Not all the memories are sunshine and rainbows by any means. But the good? If the good and bad were on a seesaw, the good would catapult the bad away. And that’s not even a question. They just aren’t even on my radar.
Just a quick glance at some of my DPhiE memories. Looking at photos made me think of a million more memories.
I have three brothers and I grew up in a fire station. A lot of male influence. Having sisters meant a lot to me. I didn’t have an actual big because I was a founder at RMU, but there were a few alumna from other chapters who definitely helped fill that gap (and a couple women from the other two sororities on campus who were a huge help in navigating Greek life).
I’m proud of the philanthropy work DPhiE does - we support the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, ANAD (Anorexia Nervosa & Associated Disorders), and the Delta Phi Epsilon Educational Foundation. I’ve seen the impact of that work firsthand. When I went to graduate school, I was awarded a scholarship from the Educational Foundation, so I experienced it firsthand.
One of the biggest skills I learned from DPhiE was event planning, which is something I have utilized in my VFD many, many times. Also, the chapter was bigger than most other RMU organizations I belonged to (the exception being the Honors program, I think) and managing/existing/working in that space was valuable when I joined the workforce.
Our motto is Esse Quam Videri which means “to be, rather than seem to be.” Be your authentic self. I would not be who I am today without DPhiE.
It’s not for everyone. That’s okay. But it was for me.
Esse Quam Videri.
